thoughts and short anecdotes on a developing relationship.
~Recently I was at Jeremy's house and his grandmother (whom he calls "mom") was on the phone. In the conversation she was trying to remember who she had told some bit of information. She said the names of several daughters who also live in the house, then said my name..."Well anyway, it was
somebody in the family." I smiled to myself.
~I was speaking with Jeremy on the phone when someone behind him asked who he was talking to. "My brother" he answered matter-of-factly. It meant to me that it has become the normal description of me in the household. I am "the brother" in a household of mostly girls (though there is one guy--Jeremy's uncle--who is twenty-something and I've rarely seen).
~Dad and I had a very long conversation recently about Jeremy, parenting techniques, and some of my frustrations in the relationship so far. The next time we hung out was the best so far, as we test-ran his soapbox car, talked about racing strategies, and just spent time talking casually, him sitting in the car and me sitting on the pavement facing him. I want to get better at the "art of being" in relationship and lose this annoying and (ironically) counter-productive (extremely American) goal-orientation, even in relationships. Also ironic is the fact that this has become possible precisely
because of our new unified goal of winning the derby in May. hmmm.
I think "unified" and the fact that it is incidental to the relationship are key.
~I have been invited to all of the family Easter traditions! The first is today from 2 pm on, when the whole family will be over for a potluck meal and an Easter (plastic) egg hunt. I am so excited about seeing them all together at one place and time! I want to understand Jeremy in terms of his family and relationship with each member. When I can understand them, I will be able to understand my own place in the family and act accordingly (i hope :).
~I've needed to lose some selfishness on my part (ie, wanting to go out and have fun times with Jeremy for my own good). Trust takes time, and for Jeremy I can see that this will be built mostly in close proximity to his family; my acceptance of them and their acceptance of me is of utmost importance. This has become much easier for me to accept recently as I've realized what an awesome opportunity for ministry God has given me in my relationship with Jeremy and his family...and beyond. In my Perspectives (missions) class I've been studying all about types of cultures, understanding cultures, language, strategies for sharing the gospel cross-culturally, etc., and then I realized what a unique culture Jeremy and his family live in...one of the poorest (white) parts of Harrisonburg! What an incredible opportunity this relationship gives me; an inside connection to a culture so far from my own. I already get a few more "hellos" and nods from people I don't know because my status as "Jeremy's brother" is known. This may be one of the greatest training grounds I'll ever have in preparation for long-term cross-cultural ministry!
God, how great you are! Give me love, wisdom, and eyes to see what you see!
Please pray this prayer with me. Love,
Philip
